Sides were formed: Fran, from Florida and myself, from Ohio, were absolutely, 100% sure that it was spelled with an “n”, and David, from Minnesota, along with some others said it was spelled with a double-m. This was where the bet occurred. I was so sure that I was right so I said I would bet 1 million dollars on it. So, we whipped out the dictionary and HORROR OF HORRORS! I was wrong! Fran and I were absolutely dumbfounded!

Of course, I had to get to the bottom of this. So, I Googled it. 32,300 results on “dilemma dilemna” came back. Apparently, this is a topic that a lot of people are arguing about. In fact, it has now reached the status of an international debacle. People are weighing in from San Diego to the UK. The common source of the split seems to be that a long time ago, somewhere, somehow, someone taught the spelling wrong. All I have to say is that is one humongous blunder for a person to make. How’d you like to be that person? Your one claim to fame in your brief existence on this planet is that you blew it and taught a bunch of kids the wrong way to spell dilemma and caused a state of grammatical chaos the likes of which have not been seen since the heated debate on the correct use of the comma in a list of descriptions that contains the word “and”.

Needless to say, I feel betrayed. 28 years of my life have passed me by while I have unknowingly been stranded in the dark on the correct spelling of this word. Actually, I guess it’s probably more accurate to say roughly 23 years of my life, since most likely before the age of 5 I didn’t know or care much about the spelling of dilemma unless it interfered with Sesame Street or Golden books. You might think 5 is a generous age to ascribe concern over the spelling of dilemma, but I will point out here that at the age of 3 I spelled the word ”sausage” on the fridge with those rainbow-colored, plastic, magnetic letters, and turned to my mom and said, “sausage.” Not to toot my own horn, but I think at that point it became clear to my parents that I was headed for a very successful carreer later in my life that would see me sitting in a chair all day trying not to eat and earning me roughly $9,000 a year, which is only a few thousand dollars below the poverty line. Wait, what happened?

Anyways, as is obvious, this topic requires immediate attention by the entire world-wide, English-speaking community if we are to see a peaceful resolution and return to life as civilized human beings. Of course, the only reasonable action is to initiate a global funeral for the incorrect spelling and lay it to rest and get on with the mourning process. Black T-shirts will be available that say “Dilemna…we will remember” and elementary school bands will play “Taps” in unison across the earth. The only grave that is big enough for a death of these proportions is, of course, the Grand Canyon, where millions will gather to bury this expired spelling, thus filling the Canyon with dirt and eradicating one of the United States’ most beautiful natural wonders. This is a shame, but of course the alternative is Civil War. The midwest and the east coast are gearing up for the bloodiest battle to date, understandably, over such a weighty debate, with other random states choosing sides at will, causing further dissension and confusion. This is mostly true, except for the fact that I made it up right now, but that is a minor detail excusable by the undeniable signs that point to a blatant inevitability of such an event. I just hope we are prepared.  

Well, I feel I’ve done my part. Support the cause! T-shirts and tickets to the Grand Canyon will be available soon through my website and countless other venues. Al Gore will probably try to do something about it. Or maybe those naked people from Sweden will show up. At any rate, remember, if someone approaches you with a shotgun and asks you which side you are on, tell them to make lemonade, not war. Wait, is that how it goes? No, tell them, if they can’t stand the heat, get out of the…no, wait, it’s make hay while the sun shines…or, oh forget it.

Another interesting post on “the Dilemma Dilemna” is here.

Diagramming sentences! Who remembers that? Oh, how I loved diagramming sentences! That was the joy of my eighth grade year. I could do it over and over and over. Do you remember how to do it? I do. “Eighth” is a weird word. You know what other word is causing me anxiety right now? “Dilemma.” The reason? Because for my whole life I thought it was spelled “Dilemna”. How crazy is that? I am seriously concerned about this. I always thought, “why is dilemna spelled with an ‘n’? That’s weird.” And now I find out it’s not. What made me think it had an ‘n’? I am kind of secretly wondering if the spelling just got recently changed or if the entire planet is pulling an April Fools Day joke on me in August. It disturbs me. Okay, bringing it back around – I am officially declaring war on the factors that keep me from posting. That’s it. I am inventing and adding a whole extra day to the week in order to find time to post. First one to tickle my fancy with a clever name for this new, 8th day of the week, wins! PS – you don’t really win anything, except you might impress me and that’s kind of like winning.

“This irresistable weblog” in the words of the man himself, is truly that. Shawn’s easy look, techy know-how and clever writing style is charming and disarming. He craftily combines pertinent, sharp information with an ability to make his readers feel right at home, like they’re sitting on the couch with him, best of buddies, perhaps enjoying an Americano together.

For those of you who are faithful followers of the Fight Spot, you know and love his compelling straight-forwardness, insight, diversity and personality. Check out his new site for a different but equally satisfying spin.

What are you waiting for? Go there now!

The creator of my theme must’ve upgraded or something. Where before there was sadness and confusion and dismay, now there is joy and clarity and rejoicing. Oh, happy day! Oh happy little tanning goggles on Aaron James’ face! Oh lovely Retroman scaring me to death as an Agent! Oh wonderful Krispy Kreme beanie on top of Jared Diehl’s head! Or whatever that is! Yes, hallelujah for whatever that is! No really, these are good tears…it’s good.

It’s like a little gift, neatly wrapped, sitting on my doorstep, totally unexpected and just the very thing I wanted. It’s like the guys who created this theme came right through the screen and gave me a big kiss on the cheek - wait, would that be a good thing? Probably not. Okay, it’s like the opposite of the guys who created this theme coming right throught the screen and kissing me. But even better.

That’s all.

Well, I’m late but I’m going for it. Father’s Day was June 17th, but due to my Wordcast Fast, that day came and went with no virtual tribute. Today I want to honor my Pops with a belated acrostic. I LOVE YOU DAD!

B is for…Beating me at Scrabble almost every night – no, really, I’m not bitter. It’s fine.

E is for…Eight years of playing “Mother May I”, “Red light, Green light” and Somersault races with us kids through our childhood.

S is for…Saving our house from a fire about 15 years ago by turning on and grabbing the garden hose and a crowbar, dashing back into the house and up the stairs to smash the wall and douse the flames that were rising higher and higher while the rest of us watched from the curb. It was AWESOME!

T is for…Taking us to what was my first movie – E.T. – at a drive-in theatre where we watched from the top of his green Chevy Van.

D is for…Driving us to Hilton Head for family vacation – those memories are still some of the best of my life!

A is for…Assembling my strawberry shortcake bookshelf when I was 4, which took approximately 375 parts and 32 hours.

D is for…Depositing money in my account when I was on spring break in Florida (and COUNTLESS other times).

I is for…Instructing me in how to walk out my relationship with Christ since I was a little girl – guidance that has formed me into who I am and which I will cherish forever.

N is for…Not telling my mom when I got arrested for (stupidly) stealing socks.

T is for…Teaching me how to fish for Walleye in Lake Erie.

H is for…Hours of playing catch in the park when I was 9, which mostly consisted of me wildly lobbing the softball nowhere near him, causing him to have to run after it over and over again.

E is for…Endlessly moving all my junk in and out of apartments during my college years – up and down countless steps and through impossible doorways – never complaining.

W is for…Watching the Muppet show – we 3 kids got to stay up late that night and snuggle with mom and dad in our PJs and eat popcorn – my dad makes the best popcorn ever!

O is for…Offering me anything he has, whenever I have need of something.

R is for…Running alongside my purple, banana-seated, Desert Rose bike, holding on to the handle bars, time after time after time, until I finally got it.

L is for…Letting me and my 10-yr old friends tag along to his Salvation Army League basketball games as cheerleaders – complete with outfits and pom-poms. How obnoxious. I had no idea. But he let us come and shriek out our cheers.

D is for…Donning this funny pink thing for a laugh:

For those of you who couldn’t quite figure out my cryptic message, it spells out…wait for it, wait for it…

BEST DAD IN THE WORLD!!! Because he is. My dad is incredible. He is kind and patient and generous and FUN! He loves people unbelievably unconditionally. I don’t know anyone who loves others like he does. He has poured his life into our family – he has always worked so hard and so cheerfully to provide for us and always came home after a long work-day with a big smile and ready to spend time with us. He makes me feel safe and loved. His tenderness towards me has freed me to grow into the person I am with confidence and strength. He always shoots me straight and lovingly wins me to wisdom and truth. He believes in me, prays for me and supports me. I know that he will always be there for me – my counselor, my supporter and my friend! Thanks for loving me so well, dad! Happy Belated Father’s Day!!!

Today, for my reassimalation into the world of wordcasting, I’ll be throwing several lists at you. That’s right, lists. In no particular order, they are…

List #1: The Top 5 Things I missed while Wordcasting-Fasting
5. Carpal Tunnel Syndrome
4. Being friends with Jennifer James
3. Lying to myself that I don’t care what my blog stats are
2. Venting the contents of my brain via World Wide Web
1. Feeling connected to my readers – I missed you guys!!!

List #2: Top 5 Things I learned while on the fast
5. I really like Whoppers
4. No, like, really, way too much
3. 7-8 hours of sleep is a blessing from heaven – one I can finally start enjoying again
2. Day 6 is a day to stay near the toilet
1. I need Jesus

List # 3: Top 5 Things I am in delusion about
5. I can keep my house clean for more than 3 days in a row
4. Swedish Gnomes are innocent
3. I am stronger than chocolate
2. I can’t get up before 7am (I did it 4 days in a row last week on our ministry trip!)
1. I didn’t lose my readership over the fast. Wait – did I???

List #4: My Top 5 Favorite Fonts
5. Parchment
4. Magneto
3. French Script
2. Bradley Hand ITC
1. Blackadder ITC
Curious what they look like? I thought so…

And…List #5: Top 5 Things I wanted to be from age 5-28
5. Veterenarian
4. Artist
3. Photo Journalist
2. English Professor
1. Intercessory Missionary
Looks like my dream came true…

Okay, I’m back in the saddle again. Nothing like some good “Top 5″ Lists to get the juices flowing – bear with me; in no time I’ll be just like Harrison Ford jumping into his old pants from the set of Indiana Jones.

My absence this past week was due to either lack of time or lack of coherent brain cell firing when I did have time, accompanied by an irresistable urge to sit on my couch and literally do nothing for the half hour after dinner that I usually use for posting. I sat, I looked out the window, and I thought little thoughts like, “that tree is really green.” Or, “I like rabbits.” It was glorious. You ever have one of those nights where you sleep for like 14 hours because your body just really needed it? That’s what this week was like in regards to posting. I couldn’t even force myself to post because my brain just needed a break.  That’s not to say that I’m going to actually use my brain in writing this post.

Before you get too excited about my return, I have to tell you that I won’t be posting from May 28th-July 7th for the 40 day fast. Just a heads-up. And actually, I don’t know if I’ll post again before the 28th. I’ll leave you with some randomness, in no particular order.

I just found out that I’ve been spelling “Whoa” wrong my whole life (well the part that I used Woah in, that is). I’ve always spelled it “Woah.” This is kind of a big deal for me. I think that’s my pride. But it just hurts, ya know?

I hate raisins but I love, love, love Raisin Bran. Sometimes when I feel like hitting the snooze (does anyone talk as much about the snooze as I do – what is up with that?) and rolling over, I think about Raisin Bran and getting up seems like a great idea.

Two years ago I went to my sister’s house in Topeka to plant flowers with her, my awesome sister-in-law Julia, and my mom (hi, mom!) and beforehand, we went to the store and they all bought some Crocs. I refused to buy a pair because I thought they looked absolutely ridiculous and I refused to even consider buying a pair. When we went back to the house I felt a little left out cuz they were all wearing them (no, I’m not an overly-sensitive middle child) and I almost regretted my decision. But awhile ago my sister bought me a pair of bright hot pink Crocs anyways and I broke down. I now wear them every day around the house and I have a complete change of heart – they are pretty much the best invention ever. Thanks, Meg!

Jared Diehl has got his hands on a video camera after a brief period of being camera-less. This is a joyous day for all of us and I am happily expecting wonderfulness from him soon.

“The Price is Right” is over. I don’t quite have the words yet to express my sadness about this. Bob Barker has retired after 50 years of television. He is a phenomenal person - at 83 years old, he has the mental agility of a Mensa member hopped up on a couple pots of strong coffee. And that’s a compliment. I don’t know why that show brought me so much pleasure. Was it the theme song? The camera swaying crazily back and forth across the cheering crowd? The colorful 70s-inspired sets? People biting it on their way down? I think it must’ve been all of that and some magical quality that you just can’t define. I watched the last episode and knew I was partaking in a significant historical act. Sigh.

I talked to my old college roommate Angie for the first time in 6 years. Well, correction. We didn’t actually talk. I randomly texted her that it would be fun to play disc golf with her that afternoon. She called back and left a message. I called back and left a message. Thrilling.

My neice Anna is the cutest baby in the entire world. Period. I don’t care if you know the baby that won “cutest baby contest” – she’s still cuter. That’s the bias an aunt is allowed to have. And I get to spend all day with her on Friday. Yay! I’m going to juice her fat little thighs all day. I understand that juicing might be a new term to some of you when used in relation to babies’ thighs. It means I’m going to squeeze them and squeeze them and squeeze them. Oooooohhhhhh, she’s so juicy!!!

I think I found the perfect allergy medicine – Alavert. It’s one tablet that lasts 24 hours and it dissolves in your mouth. It tastes exactly like childrens’ Aspirin even though the box says the flavor is “Citrus Burst.” It is only Antihistamine, which when you think about it, is really all you need. The pills that have Antihistamine, nasal decongestors and sinus pain relievers leave my entire sinus system feeling irritated later. But if I take Antihistamine, my nose won’t get congested and I won’t have sinus pain to begin with. Why I didn’t I think of this before? Duh. I took it today and it worked like a dream.

I have a sore on my tongue from eating too much Chewable Vitamin C. I overdose on Vitamin C every day. I can’t stop eating those little guys – not mostly cuz they’re good – they are - but mostly cuz I love feeling like I’m building up my immune system. I feel like Popeye when he eats the spinach and his muscle instantly grows. I can just see my immune system getting stronger (I have a very clear picture of what this looks like in my head – it involves little immune system guys in white suits) and I love that feeling.

About a week ago a big fox came right up to my kitchen window (which goes from the floor to the ceiling, in case you’re wondering how I saw him) and looked in at me. I almost dropped my bowl of Raisin Bran. I looked at him, he looked at me. He tilted his head to one side, I stared. He tilted his head to other side, and I knew I had just seen the cutest thing ever. I had never seen a fox up close in person before that, unless you count the time I watched ‘The Fox and the Hound” and it was exhilerating. I stooped down to get a closer look and he started and then darted off. A couple nights ago about 1am I was sitting on top of my car in the driveway (it helps me pray) and I saw the fox come up out the woods and he trotted right up to the car and stood there in front of the car, just looking at me. I was dumbfounded. I was kind of scared that he might jump up on the car because he was acting so bold, but after just looking at me for a bit, he just turned and walked away. This has all been very exciting for me, as you can imagine. Who knows what will happen next. I kind of have hopes of taming him like the Little Prince tamed his fox.

Well…that’s all for now. I’ll miss you…again.