I’ve had some questions about the scandal regarding the name badge I was wearing at the staff meeting Monday, so I figured I should post my position officially here on my site. As ruthlessly disclosed on the Offutts wordcast by none other than Sarah Sun Kim, I was indeed not wearing my own name tag.
It was Jodi Schipper’s name tag. I am still dumbfounded as to how this was realized – apparently some people have eagle eyes. Literally. Little, beady, eagle eyes. Though I told Sarah I was wearing it to be a good example to the staff because I accidentally forgot mine, the truth is, Jodi Schipper is just so much cooler than me and I wanted to feel like I was her for a few minutes. But alas, I’ve been found out. As you can imagine, the pain of being exposed is very terrible. I started writing poetry to process my pain. This poem, which in original form is posted on the Offuts wordcast, is called:
“Name-badge backstabbing pain hurts so much”
Name-badge backstabbing pain hurts so much
I don’t know if you ever felt it
but it’s pretty much the worst thing you ever felt
The pain
The shame
The name
of the game
is wearing the badge
that states
your name…or else!
Or else a terrible person whose name maybe rhymes with
Karah Kun Sim will expose you!
Oh, terrible exposing
Oh, terrible person whose name maybe rhymes with Karah Kun Sim…
My pain is deep
and you can never understand!
Until it happens to you
and it probably will if you wear Jodi Schipper’s badge
unless you are Jodi Schipper.
The end.
I will probably write more later, which I know all will be eagerly awaiting. I can’t wait either.
Feel free to frown profusely at Sarah Sun Kim when you see her. PROFUSELY!!!
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March 1, 2007 at 4:16 pm
You know, I recall being on a scavenger hunt team back at metro south with your parents and Aaron & Keelan I believe, and having to write a required limerick for the team. I think I chose your dad’s controversial driving habits which turned out to be an excellent subject, although the judges were biased toward other teams!
March 1, 2007 at 4:30 pm
I loved that scavanger hunt!!!! Lots of fun…
March 1, 2007 at 5:36 pm
I think I can still recall a line or 2: if you’ll indulge me, here goes…
“Sitting here, I’m filled with fear, in the back of the car of Tony;
Some people believe he drives with great ease… to that I say, “Baloney”.
That was the start of it… the only other part I recall was the brilliant alliteration, “traffic transgressions”, which was utterly unappreciated by the judges, and did not even make it onto the p.a. system. For shame! CBB
March 1, 2007 at 5:41 pm
Brilliant, Nathan.
March 1, 2007 at 11:54 pm
If this was my blog I’d do it different
March 2, 2007 at 3:29 am
wow. that’s…wow.
hey – if we’re going downtown tomorrow – call me before 6ish PM.
March 2, 2007 at 12:45 pm
Diehl, you are a punk!
March 3, 2007 at 1:28 am
Molly: you make the wordcasting world so much more fun!
March 3, 2007 at 2:15 am
I’m glad my pain entertains you.
Just Kidding! Love you guys!
March 3, 2007 at 9:20 am
You are SO funny, Molly! You are a gem; I’m just cooler for knowing you! YES!
March 3, 2007 at 5:47 pm
Anna who? I know a few. Scuse me, I have to go to the loo. boo-hoo!
March 4, 2007 at 12:12 am
Karah Kun Sim sounds like a Vietnamese stew:
Spicy, pungent, totally taboo.
How I wish my name rhymed with something more pleasant!
Then for your efforts, I would’ve given you a present.
But truth be told, I’m one of a kind,
So don’t be messin’ or else it’s yo behind!
March 5, 2007 at 10:51 pm
Molly, sorry, but as head usher, im going to need to turn you in to the authorities (Jono Combrink and Christian Early) for a FAKE ID. Your going to have to do 6 months IHOP community service, including giving speaches to high-school age staff about not using fake ID’s.
March 6, 2007 at 3:11 pm
AHHHHHHHHHHHH! Mercy! Facing the wrath of Jono and Christian is a fate worse than death!